20 July 2000

Reading:  The Dancing Wu Li Masters by Gary Zukav, and Strange flyers at Pizza Hut

Professor Lence (a remarkable man whose former students have raised enough money to endow a professorship for him -- the only such instance I've ever heard about) used to tell us in our graduate seminars "I firmly believe if you can imagine it, it's happening somewhere in Houston."  I suspect that one could narrow down Professor Lence's broad target, and simply say Montrose.  If you can imagine it, it's almost certainly happening in Montrose.  The bizarre.  The ugly.  The weird.  And also some good things.

Why am I carrying on this way?  Because Callie and I went to Pizza hut to get a carryout pizza earlier, and there was a highly disturbing flyer on the door.  It was so disturbing, I wrote down the details, which are:

Missing Person

John Champion

[photo of person]

DOB 8-1-78

Ht: 5-9

Eyes: blue

Sex: M

Last seen with a hammer in hand

If you have any information contact 713 942 8282

LAST SEEN WITH A HAMMER?!

Not to make light of this person's misfortune, because he is obviously missed by someone and he probably is slightly disturbed mentally, but what the hell kind of thing is that to put on a missing person's flyer?  I could understand "Wearing white gold necklace" or "Tattoos on neck" or something similar, but last seen with a hammer as a prime identifying characteristic?!

I love Montrose.  But it can be a bizarre place sometimes.  Like a few days ago.  Maxwell was telling me that she was on her way to a bar right across the street from me, and passed this fellow who was obviously drunk and riding a bike.  Now, the fellow should be commended for not getting obliterated and then getting in a car and killing someone.  However, he was weaving all over the road, and managed to catch back up to Maxwell as she was sitting at the intersection of Montrose and West Gray at a red light -- at which point, I'm told, he managed to approach the intersection at full (weaving) speed, run into a car, bounce of it, and wind up in a heap in the intersection.  After some commotion, some nice person apparently threw his bike in her truck and offered to drive the fellow -- who was drunk off his ass -- home.  I wonder -- I just can't help but wonder -- if the biker had a hammer.  Come on -- if you've read this far, you're wondering too.

Anyway Lence is right.  If you can imagine it, it's probably happening.  In Montrose.